Saturday, July 4, 2015

Meet my Liberal 'Cousin Liam.'

This guy is probably YOUR Liberal 'cousin' too.
Unnamed 'Liberal Spokesman'

     Actually, this guy--we'll call him Liam (sounds like a Liberal-sounding-male-name)--is NOT MY cousin.  Truth be told, I don't even know this guy, but when you hear him speak, you'll recognize him.  Maybe he's YOUR Liberal cousin.  

     If you place 1,000 Liberal male names in a brown paper bag (in order to make our spokesman true to life, the color of our bag must be brown.  Any other color, especially white ((Heaven forbid)) would completely nullify the accuracy of our experiment.  Where was I?  Oh, right.....If you place 1,000 Liberal male names in a brown paper bag, shake it 10 times--no more, no less--pour the contents onto a table....there, before you on the counter top will be 1,000 LIAMS!

     And what does Liam sound like?  Well, of course, exactly like MY Liberal 'Cousin.' (Yours also).
You Tube:  Limit Their Power

     And just so our Liberal female 'cousins' don't feel excluded from this very unscientific experiment, we'll name her 'Sophia.'  Liberals love names like Sophia, however they most likely would never dare spell their precious bundle's moniker in such a traditional manner.  Your Liberal Cousin Sophia is probably signing her allowance check as 'SOOFHEEYA,' or some other disfigured grammatical deformity.

     Liam's female counterpart Sophia, sorry--'SOOFHEEYA,' is identical in almost every aspect, perhaps without the Monday morning stubble, but if placed in that same brown paper bag with 999 other Liberal females, there is no doubt in anyone's mind, when the contents are shaken 10 times and poured onto that same table, you will now have 2,000 Liams.

     One instant recognizable difference, 'SOOFHEEYA' will be the one screeching with a higher pitched voice.  Liam might be better looking, despite the Monday morning stubble, but 'SOOFHEEYA' most definitely will make more prudent choices for her life's obvious destiny with fame.  She will probably go to an ALL girl's University, latch on to the coat tails of an up an coming political zealot, and eventually proceed to loftier positions.  Maybe a United States Senator, or perhaps even land the top spot in a major 'corporation.'  And, if there truly is a God, well, a sun-god...or something,  'SOOFHEEYA' might even elevate herself to becoming the first female president of her nation.

     At the end of the day, you're probably saying, What difference does it make?

     Because on November 8, 2016, when the contents of that brown paper bag oozes onto a clean and virgin slate, there before you will be, none other than, good old Cousin Liam.

Unnamed 'Liberal Spokesman' 

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